#and I really probably won't start this project for a few months. I need to like. go to college. which is apparently more important

[spocks-kaathyra]

fabric for Kira's Lola Chrystal dress is here :)) cosplay tip: buy curtains!!! this is, like, so much velvet and I got it for at least half the price of what it would've cost if I'd gotten it at a fabric store. AND I get to use it as a backdrop for some photoshoots before I cut it up :))

[beforetimes]

au with disciple shen yuan and shizun luo binghe is a classic but i need it with luo binghe going through the worst depressive episode known to man when shen yuan transmigrates. he sees this intimidating otherworldly figure he's read about and realizes that his shizun is just a complete mess who's been isolating himself and getting more and more irritable and miserable and depressed. he decides to make it his goal to try and coax him out of the bamboo house because no one ever really sees luo binghe anymore outside of when he travels for peak lord meetings.

in my head everything else is the same except for shen yuan and luo binghe switching roles entirely. shen yuan is a half-demon antagonist meant to be defeated by luo binghe after being pushed down the abyss and returning to get revenge but shen yuan just tells himself over and over that if he gets on luo binghe's good side surely everything will be okay? because the system won't let him leave cang qiong mountain and wander the world as a rogue cultivator and he knows that the immortal alliance conference if where everything is going to fall apart. so he's convinced himself that he just needs to game the plot by fixing shen qingqiu's reputation and his relationship and things will be fine. surely!!

and, like, it gets off to a rocky start. luo binghe throws him out of the bamboo house for about two weeks straight before finally snapping at him and asking what his deal is, to which shen yuan lets him know that the other disciples just haven't seen him in so long and they've all been worried and shen yuan just wants to make sure he's okay. and shen yuan knows he's playing the scum villain disciple but he isn't aware of the fact that this sounds so out of character coming from shen qingqiu that it snaps luo binghe out of this dissociative state he's been in for the past few months.

all of a sudden shen yuan's a sort of pet project for luo binghe. his shizun keeps inviting him into the bamboo house and probing him for seemingly benign answers to random questions, getting to know him, etc. and shen yuan thinks that wow his plan is working so well all the other disciples are saying this is the most they've seen him in the past few years. showing up to classes and everything! (of course, they're only shen yuan's classes)

eventually the investigation on luo binghe's part calms down and he hasn't figured out the truth of the matter but shen qingqiu is, all of a sudden, so much more interesting and alluring than he was when he first dragged himself up to qing jing peak a few years ago!

and what starts as a morbid obsession with a puzzle piece that seems out of place slowly moulds into like. genuine fondness on luo binghe's part. because even after the appropriate amount of time where shen yuan could go back to his regular routine and forget about needling luo binghe without seeming rude, he sticks with him anyway! always pulling him away from paperwork after hours to remind him to eat, offering to brush his hair, painting him fan's and landscapes under the guise of practice for class.

(of course, shen yuan's just! fanboying a tad! luo binghe was probably his favourite protagonist he's ever read about, only downside being the unfortunate novel he happened to be written into with the world's most unnecessary harem)

but yes. luo binghe goes through the five stages of grief before becoming inexplicably obsessed with his cute disciple and shen yuan is more than happy to dote on his favourite protagonist under the guise of getting on his good side.

there are still bumps in the road. luo binghe is stubborn and unwilling to look past the somewhat simple view of the world he's constructed in his head of demons being evil. he knows cultivators aren't all angels but the former is common sense, obviously. and he has a temper that flares in a way that makes shen yuan's body flinch in a well-practiced way. shen yuan has his bouts of intense anxiety and depression and brief near-psychosis at remembering the fact that he will have to lose all this if his crackpot half-plan doesn't work. and even if it does he'll still have to go down the abyss and he's just not ready for it, he doesn't think he'll ever be ready, not when his shizun won't be there with his kind eyes and steady form of comfort and command keeping him safe and anchored to the world. but the world keeps turning and so they both keep going until the day comes.

it's a shitshow. shen yuan's seal gets removed and luo binghe watches the demonic energy pour out of him, so numb it feels like he's been stuck in a winter snowstorm for an hour. shen yuan is pleading, desperate, forgetting half the words he tried scripting years in advance because he's at the edge of a cliff to hell and the one person he hoped would believe in him enough not to push him down there is staring at him like he's a stranger. and disciples are still screaming in the distance and the earth is quaking and the system is screaming at him while shen yuan's resolve crumbles and he starts to come to the conclusion that luo binghe will kill him here. he will. and luo binghe is just trying to breathe while he watches his kind and clever, mischievous disciple break down into tears in a way he has never seen before in his life. it sends icicles through his heart. and shen yuan is pleading but when luo binghe comes forward, sword in hand, he can't stop himself from grabbing the blade with his bare palms out of some sort of desperation. hoping and praying that just holding onto the metal means luo binghe won't try to cut his head off.

and it doesn't even matter in the end because luo binghe barely gets a word out before the ground crumbles beneath shen yuan's feet and luo binghe flinches forward, reaching out for him only to push him backwards into the gorge because of the sword that still solidly held by shen yuan, slicing through his skin.

and shen yuan falls. and luo binghe watches. and when liu qingge and yue qingyuan find him after the dust has settled, he looks too much like he did all those years ago, eyes blank and his prized disciple's spirit sword held in his hands, limp. alone again, after a taste of a life that could have been brighter.

masterpost

[silverynight]

Eight years and counting

Contains manga spoilers

The first year comes with so much planning and preparation, Katsuki barely has time to keep up with graduation and the agency interview. He's a war hero, he knows it'll be easy for him to get in any agency he wants and even though that'd make his middle school self excited, he's not that kid anymore.

He cares more about Izuku now. No, he only cares about Izuku now.

Katsuki watches closely as the last ember dies and Izuku pretends it doesn't take his last bit of hope with it; he wants Izuku to be more open with him, to tell him how he truly feels about being quirkless again, but Katsuki knows him well enough at this point to expect something like that.

But he also knows his Izuku won't be completely happy with being a UA teacher, no matter how much he loves that school. Izuku is meant to be a hero, like Katsuki. Actually, he's meant to be a hero and fight by Katsuki's side.

And Katsuki is going to make sure that dream comes true.

So he plans; Izuku needs a new suit, one that can emulate OFA to perfection because if Katsuki is going to give anything to Izuku, he's going to make sure it's absolutely perfect.

It takes a while for him to finish the design and as soon as he does, the first step is to show it to All Might. Katsuki knows he used a mecha suit during the final battle so he probably has an idea if Katsuki's design is possible or not.

"For young Midoriya?"

All Might already knows it's for Izuku, but the question is not exactly about that and Katsuki is perfectly aware of it; he can see it in the soft smile of Izuku's mentor, he can see it in the way his blue eyes shine with knowledge.

Katsuki blushes, but he doesn't look away from the former symbol of peace. He's not that middle schooler hot-heated kid anymore. He's done hiding his feelings behind anger and he's not ashamed about what he feels for Izuku. He's pretty sure All Might knows about that, he's probably waiting for a confirmation.

Katsuki nods, blush spreading down his neck.

"It'll take years to make something like that."

"I'm aware."

"And a lot of money," All Might keeps staring into his eyes, and Katsuki suddenly feels like he's being tested, but he doesn't care. He's going to get Izuku his suit no matter what. "A lot."

"I'll work hard. I can pay for it."

All Might smiles fondly at him before putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You should talk to young Midoriya."

Katsuki shakes his head with a fierce determination. He's not going to get Izuku's hopes up only to shatter them when something doesn't work. This is just an idea and he's not sure how long it'll take.

Katsuki will rather stab himself than breaking Izuku's heart.

"I can't do that. Not until it's ready."

"I'm not talking about the suit."

His cheeks are warm again as what All Might is trying to say finally sinks in.

"I will, but not yet."

***

By the second year he's already mailing the designs to All Might's friend in the US and constantly sending texts and visiting Hatsume in her new lab. She's excited about it and happy to start working on it; she's fond of Izuku too and loves challenges so Katsuki knew she'd say yes.

It takes a little bit more to convince Shield, but she agrees after reading Katsuki's long mail, that looks dangerously close to an essay about the amazing things Midoriya Izuku could achieve with it.

Maybe Izuku is right after all; he's kind of a nerd too.

She agrees to the project and assures Katsuki he can send her low amounts of money every month until the suit it's completely done. After a few weeks, both Shield and Hatsume start working together on it.

Then he contacts his former classmates, because All Might told him they'd want to know about it.

Not only they seem really excited about the project, they offer their help and tell Katsuki they'd like to give him a bit of money for the suit too.

He agrees gladly because he knows Izuku will be happy to know everyone participated in the making of the suit. Besides, he knows it's important to let people help when they can and want to.

***

He's not going to lie, the third year is harsh for him.

Between the videocalls with Shield, the visits to Hatsume and the extra hours he has to work to make more money, Katsuki barely has time to hang out with his friends, although it's not like they have much time either.

He stills sees Izuku a few times a week though because he's physically incapable of being away from him for too long. Sometimes Katsuki wonders if he has noticed, and then he remembers he's a nerd who won't recognize unconditional love even if it hit him in the face.

They talk about Izuku's students, about the UA and Katsuki's hero work; he was a bit reluctant to say anything about his job in front of the nerd at first, but he realized that Izuku genuinely gets excited and happy about Katsuki's pro hero journey.

He notices the nerd gets a bit sad sometimes, especially when he mentions their other friends, because they all are professionals now and Katsuki knows Izuku would like to share that kind of feeling with them.

It only makes Katsuki want to work even harder.

And he does, even if he ends up half dead on his couch after a very long shift; he somehow manages to wake up early next morning with Izuku's dream in his mind.

It's enough motivation to keep him going.

However, his body does get tired and it shows sometimes in the way he acts around others; that's probably the reason why he starts snapping at annoying fans and the videos end up on Tiktok and Instagram; his hero name trends for a while, but he honestly doesn't give a fuck. He's still making money and saving people.

Although, even if he doesn't care, he knows others do.

Because of that, Aizawa starts scolding him about his public image and the way it'll affect to his current ranking.

But Katsuki doesn't care about rankings anymore; Izuku is not there to compete against for the number one spot so it's not remotely interesting to make an effort now.

He'll save that for when Izuku becomes a pro hero.

***

By the fourth year, Aizawa decides to play dirty and use Katsuki's only weakness, so he starts showing Izuku the videos of him growling at civilians.

"Kacchan!"

It's ridiculous how Izuku's sad puppy eyes and his worried expression is the only thing he needs to make Katsuki do as he pleases, but Katsuki has been acting that ridiculous since the war ended so it doesn't matter.

It's not like he's gonna stop now.

"Fine! I'll try not to punch them in the face!"

"Did you actually do that?" Izuku finally snaps his head up from the homework he's grading and looks at him with shock, concern and disbelief at the same time.

"Of course not!" He rolls his eyes. "No matter how much I want to sometimes..."

"Kacchan!"

He does behave a bit better after that and Ashido makes fun of him because of it.

Then All Might figures out he's working too much, and also uses Izuku to make Katsuki take a break.

"Are you overworking yourself, Kacchan?"

Again with the sad puppy eyes! He needs to develop a shield against them. Izuku can't keep using them like a weapon all the time.

"I'm fine!"

The nerd is even better at handling him; Izuku nods and smiles before changing the topic to one of his students (he adores them as much as they adore him) and Katsuki visibly relaxes.

Which is a huge mistake.

"When's your next day off, Kacchan?" Izuku casually asks three days later. He smiles sweetly at him and Katsuki wonders for a moment if he actually knows how much power he has over him. "I would like you to stay over at my apartment someday. We can watch a movie and order takeout!"

"You mean like a... sleepover?" he clears his throat, cheeks turning slightly pink. He crosses his arms over his chest as a shield because he doesn't want to think of any of his multiple daydreams about spending a night with Izuku. It's too dangerous.

"Yes!"

It's not fair. Izuku looks so excited he basically has stars in his eyes as he looks up at Katsuki.

The next thing he knows is that he's asking Hawks for a day off and the whole agency starts gossiping about it because he hasn't taken one of those in years.

Only when he's sitting on Izuku's couch, completely relaxed and happy, it occurs to him it was a trap to make him take a break. And even though he knows now, he keeps falling for it every single time.

Because he can't say 'No' to Izuku.

***

Izuku's gauntlets are completely ready five years after Katsuki designed them. They look exactly like the ones he used before, but they have OFA's puch power and release energy threads he can use as he did with Blackwhip.

They're perfect.

Katsuki stares at them for a moment with a stupid, fond smile on his face and he decides to do something sentimental and even more stupid because he's an idiot.

"Can you change mines?" He asks Hatsume after a while. "I want them to look like Izuku's."

"You want them to match your boyfriend's?" She says so casually that Katsuki realizes she's been thinking of Izuku and him as a couple for a long time now. "Sure! He'll probably love that too!"

Katsuki can tell her she's mistaken, but he doesn't. Instead, he thinks about how it'll look when Izuku finally wears his hero suit and stands next to him.

His grin becomes even wider.

Izuku tears up when he sees Katsuki for the first time wearing his new gauntlets; he immediately recognizes the design, even though they're a different color.

He doesn't ask why Katsuki decided to change his gauntlets, he just walks towards him and pulls him into a tight hug.

"It... it doesn't bother you?" He's so drunk in Izuku's scent and physical closeness, his voice shakes a bit. Katsuki hadn't realized how starved he was for Izuku's touch until that moment. "I mean, are you okay with them looking almost like the ones you used to wear?"

The last thing he wants is to make Izuku upset with his own need to feel close to him, even if it's something stupid like making his gauntlets match his.

Izuku shakes his head, smiling up at him.

"I think it's really sweet."

Blushing to the tip of his ears and making Izuku giggle in the process, Katsuki realizes how much he has changed over the past years.

He's a completely different person from who he was in elementary, middle and even the first year of high-school.

The old Bakugo was made of various layers of anger issues and insecurities that were falling off of him as he grew as a person, leaving only Bakugo Kacchan in their place.

He's Izuku's Kacchan now. The version of himself that was born the moment he met little Izuku and wanted to be a pro hero with him; he's always been Izuku's Kacchan.

And he's mature enough to admit and embrace that now.

***

It's the second time, in years, his parents pay him a visit; Katsuki has been avoiding that moment as much as he could, going to their house instead, but his mother probably got suspicious and decided to find out what was going on by herself.

She takes a look around and quirks up a brow at him, even though Katsuki is doing everything in his power to ignore her.

He focuses on his Dad instead, but Masaru has a terrible poker face so Katsuki can tell he's noticed his son lives exactly the way he did when he started working as a pro hero.

"You haven't redecorated the place yet, huh?" he offers kindly, prompting Katsuki to roll his eyes.

He's aware of what's coming. It doesn't matter how much his Dad tries to dismiss the subject because he knows his son doesn't want to talk about it.

But Bakugo Mitsuki doesn't like that type of approach.

"Why do you still live in this crappy ass apartment?" There it goes. His mother crosses both arms over her chest and Katsuki knows she will not leave until he gives her a good explanation. "I thought you made good money! It's been years, brat! Don't tell me you somehow got attached to this place?"

Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose, takes a deep breath, sits both his parents on the couch and offers them tea as he start explaining everything to them.

By the time he's done he looks up only to find them staring back at him with a very proud smile on both their faces.

Masaru hugs him before his mother starts ruffling his hair in a way she hasn't done since Katsuki was in elementary.

"He's going to love it," his father assures him; a little bit of the weight Katsuki has been carrying over his shoulders vanishes because even though he knows Izuku, part of him was sightly afraid he wouldn't like it.

They spend the rest of the afternoon looking at Katsuki's first designs as he tells them in detail how each piece is going to work.

"We've been testing them for a while and they work quite well," he says with a satisfied smile.

"What about the measurements?" Mitsuki asks then. "If you want to keep this a secret from him, how do you plan to make this fit to his body type?"

"I know Izuku's measurements," he says with a confident smirk that quickly vanishes as soon as he watches his parents exchanging a look. "Not like that! I've know him my whole life! I know him better than anyone!"

There's an uncomfortable silence before Mitsuki shakes her head with an amused grin on her face.

"You know an engagement ring would have been way cheaper than this, right?"

"Shut up!"

***

The UA students know him quite well now, especially Izuku's students. Uraraka and Todoroki help Izuku too every now and then, but Katsuki is the only one who's always available when Izuku calls.

And no, not all the students are fond of him, especially because he plays the villain quite often and he easily defeats them in the blink of an eye.

"Don't be too hard on them, Kacchan!"

"How will they learn what a real battle looks like if I'm not, Izuku?"

After a while, Katsuki hears a couple of students calling him Midoriya-sensei's boyfriend and he doesn't correct any of them.

Then the rumor reaches social media and Katsuki doesn't bother to deny it during interviews either; he only says he doesn't like to talk about his private life, which only makes everyone think it's true.

He's being selfish and he knows it, but he doesn't care at all.

However, Izuku apparently does because he corrects his students when they call them a couple, and even though he's telling nothing but the truth, it hurts Katsuki a bit.

"What is it, Kacchan?" Izuku notices immediately of course, and looks back at him with concern. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he manages to smile, reminding himself that Izuku's suit is almost done and they'll be hero partners soon.

It's all that matters.

"You're an idiot!" Ashido hits him on the back of his head as they have lunch together outside her agency; it's been years since he has actually seen her face to face, and that's the first thing she does? He shouldn't have come. "Why haven't you told him?"

Katsuki huffs, getting slightly irritated.

"We have already discussed this. If the suit is not rea–"

"Not about that!" She rolls her eyes before taking her phone and showing it to him, almost shoving it to his face. "I'm talking about this!"

It's a picture of Katsuki in his hero suit talking to Izuku; they're in the UA so one of the students must have taken it.

Katsuki doesn't need her to say anything else for him to understand what she's talking about; it's written all over his face, in the fondness of smile and the glimmer in his eyes.

He's sure out of all the pictures of pro hero Dynamight on the internet, that's the only one in which he's smiling that softly.

Because it's the only picture of him looking directly at Izuku.

"I will tell him... eventually," he mumbles in a tone that lets Ashido know he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

Izuku needs to focus on fulfilling his dream first.

***

It's been eight years since Katsuki started this project and now that Izuku's suit is finally done, he has decided that the right person to hand it to Izuku is All Might.

"You should be there too," the man insists, giving him an encouraging smile.

Katsuki shakes his head, looking at the floor; it'd be too overwhelming for him, he's sure he'll tear up if he sees Izuku's face when he gets the suit.

He asks All Might to tell Izuku that everyone funded his suit, that they contributed the same amount to it.

The next day he's back at the agency to keep himself busy; he's about to head to his first patrol of the week when Izuku walks in, wearing his hero suit.

Katsuki chokes, blushes and almost tears up at the same time.

He looks perfect.

"Thank you, Kacchan."

The blinding smile and the happiness in his voice is what ends up undoing him, because what he realizes in that moment is that Izuku hasn't smiled so freely, so sincerely in years and Katsuki is the reason he does now.

He starts tearing up the way he did that day at the hospital, the only difference is that it's happiness what makes him so emotional this time.

Izuku takes a few steps closer and presses their foreheads together.

"Thanks for making my dreams come true."

"It wasn't just me," Katsuki manages to say, but his voice sounds choked. "Everyone-"

"I know you planned it, designed it, got everyone together to work on it and paid the most for it. All Might told me everything."

"The old man can't keep a damned secret now..."

Izuku chuckles and his laughter is music to Katsuki's ears; it's true, he doesn't care how sappy it sounds. Izuku's happy chuckle is the best kind of music to him.

Then, Izuku takes his face in his hands and makes him look down at him.

"I love you too, Kacchan."

Katsuki is sure he's dreaming; it must be getting late, he needs to wake up.

But then Izuku kisses him and the kiss is clumsy and wet, but it's perfect because it's their first and now Katsuki knows it's real.

***

He doesn't need to work extra hours now, which means he has time to help Izuku train to get used to his new suit and the quirks it comes with.

It takes him just two months to accomplish that, and another one to feel ready to apply to Hawks' agency.

"I'm ready to get a hero partner now."

"Really?" Hawks looks at him in disbelief before grinning. "Alright, I have a few suggestions..."

"I want Deku."

Hawks rolls his eyes, but doesn't look surprised in the slightest.

"At least wait for me to hire him first," Hawks continues, staring up at Katsuki with a little bit of irritation. "I just got his application."

"Well, when you do, make him my partner," he's aware that he sounds demanding and although he's not like that anymore, he can't hold back the urgency in his voice because he has waited for that moment for eight years.

"I can't," Hawks says, taking a deep breath, bracing himself for a long discussion. "Even though Deku is a war hero and I'm sure he'll become an excellent pro hero, he has to start at the bottom, like everyone else. However, if I put you with him, you'll have to endure all those boring patrols and easy missions that are given to new heroes in training."

"I know that. Just put me with him. We'll get to the top in no time."

Hawks stares at him and blinks a few times before chuckling.

"Well damn. Guess they weren't rumors after all," he smirks. "Alright. Just invite me to the wedding."

"Will do."

***

Katsuki hears Izuku ramble excitedly about being hero partners and their first patrol together in the comfort of their shared apartment, one that his mother finally approves of, although he has the feeling that she doesn't care that much about the place, but the person her son is living with.

Mitsuki has always loved Izuku.

They have breakfast, Katsuki prepares two bentos for the both of them and they head to the agency, directly to the locker room.

Even though it's not his first patrol, Katsuki notices his heart beating faster as he walks out as Dynamight, right next to Izuku wearing the suit he worked so hard for.

The suit that made their dreams come true.

"Come, Deku," he says, because he can do that now, he can offer his hand to Izuku, knowing he'll take it without hesitation and a blinding smile on his face.

They're partners now, in more ways than one.

It's been eight years to get to this point, but Katsuki know it's just the beginning for the both of them.

***

Patreon

[oshygoshy]

6:37 pm

word count - 907 words

warnings - kuroo is a loser also shitty writing, not proof read much

a/n - happy bday kuroo this is ass lowkey but i'm sorry i'm trying my best. i hate university i'm so busy and stressed but at least my suitemate got a kitty and she's so soft and warm and cute slay

anyways yeah kuroos a loser with no rizz...sorry. he's kicking his feet and giggling over 1 (one) interaction

there was a man. in your spot. at the library.

it was (unfortunately) finals week, meaning you were one more quiz away from a certified crash out, and one more discussion post away from taking a swan dive off the closest bridge. your left eye was twitching, you were running on less than the healthy 8 hours of sleep, and you were drinking your second energy drink of the day.

you were supposed to go to the library on campus to Your Spot, the one you have reigned supreme over for the past few months. it was quiet, on the 4th floor, away from everybody working on group projects below. it was secluded, off in the corner. it had a nice charging block with multiple outlets available, and it had a pretty view of some trees with some sunlight that would warm you as day faded into night.

it was perfect. it was beautiful.

and it was currently being taken by some guy.

your eye twitched again. you debated shoving him out of your chair, or pouring your drink over his computer, or maybe just glaring at him and biting his shoulder like a rabid animal (the aforementioned crash out from above), but you recognize that starting and escalating an altercation is not productive, and also that a homicide charge won't add anything to your gpa.

so you sighed, resigned, before making your way to the empty table a few feet from Your Spot. but you decided to do some investigative research (read: spying) to figure out what could possibly be so important for this man to study that he needed to take Your Spot. you quickly peek over his shoulder, scanning for his notes and computer.

“net profit…statistical probability…essay for…”

your eye twitches again. statistical probability? net profit? no fucking way Your Spot was taken by a business major?? a finance bro? an absolute buffoon?? did they even have finals, other than a coloring page? 

fuck you, mysterious business guy. fuck you. 

you were just about to leave when your eyes left his desk-

-and locked eyes with him. 

he...he caught you staring!!

wait. no. you caught him stealing your spot, and then you decided to snoop a bit, rightfully so! he's in the wrong here!!

"um, do you need something?" he asked, an easy smile on his lips. 

his eyes were hazel with golden depths, and though his hair was messy and his eyes tired, you could still see the gleam of a piercing (and honestly, kind of hot) look to them. 

"...no," you say. 

"you can have this table, if you want," he said, beginning to pack up. "i'm almost done here anyway." 

"oh no, you don't have to-"

"but don't you sit here everyday to study?" he whispered, standing up. you realized just then how tall he was. 

you catch his words after a second (you were not distracted by the height difference!), and stare at him hard. "what are you, a stalker? how do you know where i sit?"

he shrugged, zipping up his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. "well you sit in the same spot on the same floor like clockwork every night, so it's kind of hard not to not notice."

you rack your brain, trying to remember if you ever saw a guy like him sitting nearby you in the library. it would be hard to forget someone who looked like him (respectfully, and because he is tall and for no other reason!!!), but for some reason, you couldn't remember seeing him at all. maybe he really was a stalker?? "well why did you decide to take my spot then anyway, stalker?" you huff, annoyed. 

he had started leaving by now, and brushed your shoulder on the way out. he looked over his shoulder with a smile full of charm. 

"because i wanted an excuse to talk to someone pretty like you, of course," he said with a grin. "see you next week."

he left his crush standing jaw open as he nonchalantly scurried away. jesus christ, he never realized just how hard his heart would beat when he spoke to you.

he liked how focused you looked when you worked on your assignments, or how your finger tapped restlessly against your pencil when you came across something difficult. it was just a little school crush, really, and he shouldn't be looking too much into it. but when he got to the library today and saw someone had stolen his spot a few tables away, meaning that he could sit in yours and get an excuse to talk to you...well, he was just a little bit giddy.

he opened the old groupchat from his high school days. a lot of his friends from nekoma were busy with their own lives, but they still kept in touch to this day.

kuroo: guess who go to talk to their crush todayyyy yaku: you finally gained the guts? wow, how impressive. i'm sure they're head over heels for you now. kai: congratulations on saying hi!! kenma: stalker kuroo: i hate all of you.

he couldn't contain his little giggle. maybe next time, he would have the confidence to ask to sit next to you.

[revenantghost]

Hey, I’m just here to say you’re extremely missed and that, even though there’s probably not much I could say to make any of the bad things less awful, I’m hoping for an easier and gentler future for you soon. Take care, ok?

Oh man, thank you so much for sending this, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond (and to the other person who sent me an ask, too—I'm not sure when I'll get to it but please know it was seen and means so much). It has just been. So awful. I won't dump on the public at large everything that's happened, you don't need that novel, but it feels like every day life's falling apart more and more.

Just, seriously, thank you for sending this, and to the couple of people who checked in with chats (again, I'm sorry if I haven't responded yet, spoons are just very limited). There have been a lot of times throughout this where I get overwhelmed by everything going on and some truly horrific people I've met in the fandom and I've considered deleting everything permanently! Very often!!! Tbh I'm still struggling with that VERY intense urge while writing this. I feel so unsafe, and scared, and run down.

And tbh, it's really hard to believe anyone could care about me when I feel so awful and worthless, I feel like it must be an obligation, or I somehow accidentally manipulated people, but I'm trying to cling to that being the brain demons talking. Because I really appreciate the time and effort anyone's taken with me. And I really miss fandom and fun, even if it's weighed down with some significant trauma—I still love the stories and the characters and, most importantly, the amazing people I've met here. Outside of any fandom I've poked around in, the wonderful people I've met matter the most, and I'm trying to cling to that.

I really enjoy talking with everyone, running little projects/events, and for the first time in years actually writing again. (I've been slowly plucking away at that AU I mentioned a few times and I want to start posting for an event this month but! Ahhh!!!) I would like to try and be active again, and I'm so sorry for just being such an absolute goddamn mess. I feel like this is all too much to even say, but I do want to just be honest about all of it. Still, again, thank you so much for reaching out <3 And I'm sorry this is so ridiculously long even though I don't feel like I'm saying much and nothing important, I didn't intend for this answer to be a word-vomit update, just. Things suck, but you guys are good, and I hope things are as okay as you can be on your side of the screen <3

[sealofarchives]

Hello, could you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT about what it would be like to date Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie (separately) and what the pros and cons of a relationship with them would be?

Headcanon: GN!Reader dating the Rise!Turtles (Separate) (Requested prompt with established relationship)

A/N: This was really fun to work on and ended up surprising myself with how this turned out!!!

Donnie

Pros:

Since you take the time to listen to whatever he says, he'll do the same for you.

Even before you started dating him, he took some notes on what you liked and disliked. (He used to have a tablet for that said purpose but eventually, retooled as a backup photo album storage between the two of you)

- I personally think he's not one for the usual icebreaker conversations with stuff like "how's your day and etc"

So most conversations start with some tangent on his mind or about your favorite things then eventually discussing daily stuff that happened within the day.

Even though he struggles trying to cheer people up, but he's not gonna ignore your well-being when you happened to have a bad day.

- Like he makes sure you had something to eat or drink. And if talking about the problem makes it worse, already noted and tries to pull you towards light stress free activities. (Letting you borrow one of his headphones to listen to your music, sort and try out a box of fidget toys, or setting up a small space in the lair as the designated chill zone)

While there might be some technical mishaps, he always has good intentions trying to fix your phone or other electronic devices you have trouble with.

Cons:

Imo I feel like during the first few weeks in the relationship, he'll be awkward towards pda. (don't constantly pester him about it)

- He'll eventually come to it maybe near the end of the first month of dating. (With his personal quota of handholding and hugs that last a few seconds)

Until realizing your needs are just as important to maintain that special relationship.

- However, If some creep doesn't get the message you're already taken, its one of the rare times he'll force himself into initiating pda for your own safety.

Easily gets jealous and refuses to admit it with some snarky remark.

When he refuses to take breaks, you probably have to step in so he doesn't accidentally hurt himself or gets sick.

- When you do so, it often ends with him passing out on you.

(And tiny bit of scolding from his brothers [namely Raph and Dr Delicate Touch] after Donnie recovered from overworking himself on a large scale project)

Can be very passive aggressive and it could lead to some unpleasant arguments towards something very trivial.

- He's definitely the most stubborn out of his brothers and probably won't hear you out until your feelings get hurt.

It might take him a few days to think up of a proper apology. And during those days, he slowly regrets yelling at you along with letting his anger get the best of him.

Leo

Pros:

He won't admit it but, your level of honesty around him really puts him at ease whenever he's lost in thought about something.

- The leader can name a least few things about his brothers' special talents but during a few nights where he can't sleep, because of a nightmare from a past enemy. (either Shredder or the Krang)

He didn't have the energy for one of his usual portals but, really wanted give you a hug for saying such kind words through a phone call.

He'll instantly back off if he accidentally made a joke that offended you.

- The last thing he wants is to upset you. So he really tries working some type of compromise between the two of you, so it doesn't happen again.

He has a strong memory sometimes, like remembering the little details. It will usually happen when you least expect it.

- Casually bringing up a past event from one of the photos saved on your phone. Often being one of the early hang out sessions, before you started dating him. He'll lightly tease you about it but, mostly grateful that you took a chance to build up that relationship with him.

If you happened to have a case of bad luck, he's very determined to end that streak's rein of terror by his own hands.

- And if you can't visit the lair, he'll let you borrow his lucky rock as a good luck charm.

Cons:

He still has a bit of that competitive energy in him and can be a sore loser when he doesn't win.

- It could take him a while to realize that the playful showboating upseted you and to why you're refusing to give him any attention.

This also adds on to that he's not the best at genuine apologies.

- Like the first sorry has no feeling to it until the guilt weighes down on him.

I don't think he could last a few days with you giving him the cold shoulder + silent treatment (Imo, he has the type of desperate embarrassment that would be hard to watch)

Sometimes his "surprise planning" ends up in a panic since he waits until the last minute to get you something.

- Given how some of his strategies usually works towards his advantage. (Often not telling the others about it and another similar manner along those lines)

His ego can 100% break the relationship.

- Like there's only certain amount of patience you can handle with his nonsense and his brothers will absolutely not stand for that kind of behavior. The moment he realizes he was in the wrong, he scrambles trying to avoid a potential break up.

Raph

Pros:

Almost has the same level of patience as Mikey's. (Also a result of being the oldest brother and dealing with some of Splinter's shenanigans)

Will often ask if you need help with the heavy lifting. (Even towards small stuff like when you can't reach for something on the top shelf. He will immediately grab said item for you.)

Gives the best teddy bear hugs

- Not too tight or too close to his spiky scales. Just right enough where it can easily put you at ease, stopping any stressful thought plaguing your mind.

Can easily motivate you into short exercise routines.

- It doesn't even have to be the daily recommended 30 minutes. Often being close to under 5 minutes is still worth it.

When both of you were done following that one morning aerobics exercise from animal crossing, his brothers immediately teased him about it. But he doesn't care, he was just happy you got to stay up for a little bit before lazily resting your head near his plastron.

Cons:

While the big guy means well, he can be a bit overbearing.

- Especially if you got a small injury, after a brief night patrol fight from an unexpecting bad guy attack.

He will absolutely be a mother hen if you end up getting sick. Drops whatever he was doing and rushes over to make sure you're okay. Which often results in him getting sick after you fully recovered because he forgot to bring the protective gear for his own safety.

(This is a personal headcanon of mine) but he's definitely close to a morning kind of guy. Light stretches to start the day before he eats breakfast.

- So if you have a similar night owl schedule like Donnie or Leo, he won't say much but, he will judge you for it unless its related to some medical reasons.

If you decide on borrowing clothes from him, a lot of the shirts he has, will have a few holes because of his spiky shell. So pack some extra clothes (like a spare tank top or something similar) if you're not into the torn up clothing look.

You're bound to see Savage Raph at least a few times.

- Please approach with caution and take Leo's advice seriously. However, still be gentle around Raph and comfort him by the time he returns back to his usual self.

Mikey:

Pros:

The fact he knows how to cook is already best boyfriend material.

- He can probably cook up your favorite food if you ask for it.

Another plus is proper communication skills.

- Dr Feelings will always be there to help and will accommodate what's best suited to your needs.

Can be your personal cheerleader when you happened to be stuck at starting something.

- After all, he is the best hype man for a reason. But, can easily tone down the energy if you start to feel overwhelmed.

There will always be a lot of creative thought in whatever gift he makes for you.

- Very heartfelt and he will be a blushing mess if you ended up displaying it in a place where he can see it. (either in your room or a place in your house where there's a lot of care in preserving it)

Cons:

Imo I feel like the Dr Delicate Touch persona leans towards some of that passive aggressive energy.

- Namely the anger tone, (which might have some influence from a certain purple turtle) so Mikey still needs to be careful about that.

It won't happen all the time but, if you forgot to eat breakfast. (or any of the other important 3 meals of the day)

- Mikey will pester you into eating some food he made. He usually does this to Donnie and the box shell turtle won't budge until you finish the meal. Or at least half of it, so it can be saved for later as leftovers.

The sad puppy eyes trick is present in all the turtles but, Mikey's more dangerous since he's a master at it. So try your best not to give in to the temptation. (If you can help it)

He's the second turtle to make a beeline into danger. (and him being commited to be the bait as a distraction [like dressing up in a hippo costume with a cologne that attracts said animal or the time he wore a cucumber suit to tease Repo Mantis' mutant pet cat for one of Donnie's vlogs])

- Be prepared to patch him up as result of his rowdy energy.

[httpvomitello]

Hey so how do you think the tmnt boys would deal with having a crush where they text each other frequently and also do hang out a lot. But what they do when for once their crush texts them “I hate everything right now. I’m so angry. >:(“. Behind the scenes Their crush just came on their time of the month and now they’re like angry with everything hormonally? If the boys come over cuz crush isn’t answering, hours later, crush seeming better, “sorry about that. I just came on my time of the month earlier, this ones bad this month and my emotions are crazy. I now just feel depressed :(”?

Hello again! I hope you like it! ♡♡♡♡

Leonardo

Leo gets a text from his crush that reads, “I’m so over everything right now. I’m mad and don’t even know why.”

He’s used to keeping joking his way out of awkward situations, so he responds

“Yikes, sounds rough! Want me to come over and cheer you up with some cool ninja moves or bad jokes?”

When there’s no reply for hours, Leo’s anxiety spikes (even if he won't admit it)

He grabs his katanas (just in case) and heads out to check on them

When he arrives, his crush finally explains, “Sorry about that. I just came on my time of the month earlier. This one’s bad, and my emotions are crazy.”

He might be a little awkward at first, but he quickly adapts, flashing his signature grin

“Ah, no worries. Your favorite turtle has arrived!So, what’s the plan? Do you want to grab us some snacks and watch some movies?”

They decide to watch Twilight

It's a good thing they ended up sleeping next to Leo, because that way they didn't have to witness him start crying at the end

He’s happy to be a distraction, whether it’s watching a movie or just hanging out

He’ll probably pull out a few tricks, magic or otherwise, to get a smile out of them before the day’s done.

Raphael

Raph gets a message from his crush that says, “I’m so frustrated. Everything’s making me mad for no reason, and I’m trying to keep it together.”

He doesn't take long to send a message asking if everything is okay

When he doesn’t get a reply after a while, Raph starts pacing

He debates texting again but doesn’t want to seem pushy, so instead, he heads out

When Raph gets there, his crush doesn't take long to explain

“Hey, sorry I didn’t respond earlier. My period just started, and it’s hitting hard this time. I feel like a mess right now,”

Raph softens immediately, his face full of understanding

He knows how overwhelming emotions can be, and he doesn’t want to make things worse by crowding them

He’ll stay close, maybe put on a show they both like or offer up his shoulder if they need a comforting presence.

Donatello

Donnie receives a text from hos crush at a random time while he was finishing one of his projects

“Today’s been a mess, and I’m so angry. I don’t know how to shake this mood.”

His immediate reaction is to problem-solve, so he texts back

“I’ve read that mood swings can sometimes be helped by balancing serotonin levels. Do you want me to come over and help you troubleshoot?”

He’s serious about wanting to help, though his methods may seem a bit... clinical

When he doesn’t get a response for hours, Donnie’s curiosity gets the best of him

It doesn't take long to get to their house

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you. My period started earlier, and it’s really messing with my emotions. I just feel so out of it,”

Donnie immediately understands and goes into helpful mode

“While I can’t stop that, I can help with the physical discomfort or even keep you company to distract you from the emotional side effects.”

He might offer up some tech-based solutions, like a supercharged heating pad or an app he coded to track moods and help regulate them

If they’re feeling down, he’ll switch from science talk to a more personal approach, asking what they need and offering to help with whatever would make them more comfortable

Even if his methods are a little unconventional, Donnie genuinely wants to make things better for them.

Michelangelo

Mikey got the text from his crush while he was watching his favorite cartoon

“I’m just in such a bad mood today. I feel off, and I hate it.”

His heart sinks because he’s all about making people feel happy and loved, especially his crush. He responds immediately

“Aw, that’s the worst! You want me to come over and bring snacks and some good vibes? I’ll cheer you up, promise!”

When there’s no reply for a while, Mikey’s concern turns into action. He grabs a bunch of their favorite snacks and his skateboard, determined to turn their day around

When they finally explain, “Sorry for not responding. My period started, and it’s been a rough one. My emotions are just all over the place,”

Mikey is quick to jump into comfort mode, his empathy showing immediately

“I’m here to make you feel better, no worries. Snacks? Cartoons? Blanket fort? You name it, and we’ll do it!”

Mikey’s goal is to lift their spirits, no matter what

His energy is contagious, and he’ll stick around for as long as they need

By the end of the day, Mikey will make sure they’re at least smiling, even if just a little

[888-fr]

WHY I DON'T RETIRE MY SKINS: an essay

Disclaimer that I'm speaking from a point of being established here, because not everybody can afford to run their skin shop like I do. I don't judge less established artists for needing to limit their skins because they can't afford to print a run with only 2 people on it. I'm also not judging anybody who does retire their skins after a set number of prints - whole different matter! I'm giving an opinion piece based on my own personal thoughts about running my own skin shop.

Okay, now that's out of the way. I really dislike the idea of time-limiting my skins. There's just no actual justification for me, as an established skin artist, to limit skins I know will sell... aside from prestige, and putting buying pressure on my customers. So there's a couple of reasons I don't like that:

1) Erodes trust in the artist.

Yes, I could probably make more money if I kept my skins limited so people HAD to pick up my skin on release. Maybe even all 4 colors of the skin, including the one they don't really keep in their hoard. Just in case they want it down the line but it won't be available anymore.

Is this good business practice though? Do I want people to start feeling panicked every time I ping for a release, because they just picked up a new project and really really CAN'T afford to be buying skins right now but there's 5 colorways of my skin available and they'll probably be resold for 2kg as soon as they retire?

Personally, no! I want people excited when I ping, not feeling dread in their hearts and budgets. I want people to be thinking: 'Awesome, a new skin! I can't afford that right now but I know he always keeps a few on the AH at print price even after preorders end. Even if I can't buy a skin just this moment, I'll be sure to keep an eye on his thread for when I have gems again.' Or: "Awesome, a new skin! This one doesn't appeal to my lair aesthetic, so I will just nod and smile. I don't feel the need to buy it in case it gets popular for resale, because it will always be on the AH for print price."

People tell me about unsubscribing from GASP because they get anxiety being pinged for skins they want but can't have. So I want people to stay on my pinglist because there's no pressure on them whatsoever to purchase anything. It'll always be here, okay? In the meantime, just enjoy the art, maybe preview it on a scry or two. I'll be here if you're back in three weeks, or three months.

2) Passive income!

I lied. I probably would've made less money time limiting all my skins than by keeping my skins restocked. A couple of reasons for this:

- My earlier skins sold worse. This isn't psychology, it's just numbers. Some of my most popular stock were made early on in 2021/2022. I didn't have that many sales then, so could you imagine if I had retired them immediately after that? There's 230something copies of SAILOR'S WARNING out in the world right now. If that skin was time limited after preorders died down, I would've sold "only" 50 forever.

- People see my shop stock whenever you ping for a new releases. I get 3-4 sales off auction house whenever I release something new and people check my front page. It's not a lot but it's consistent.

- It's a win-win situation, okay? If a skin is popular, there's no reason to time limit it to drive up sales. If it IS popular, then people are going to see it on other people's dragons, go "damn that's a nice skin," and maybe do an AH search for it. And if there's a cheap print price copy available, they're gonna buy it.

2) Reprints are easy!

It was a lot more annoying to keep track of queue numbers and inventory back when reprints had to go through regular queue for a week. Did I put in 10 copies of SUNHEAVEN already? Wait, are my kitsune aethers back yet? How many of MOLOCH are still listed?

Now I can put in a blueprint and get my reprint instantly. No fuss at all.

3) I don't want to buy into the 'this is a retired skin' hype...

This is just personal preference. It makes me feel a little bad when a public skin I made is popular and people can't afford to have it. I'm not judging anybody who does like it when their skins are rare, special, and sought after.

It's just... I get that part of my brain scratched from my customs. They're gorgeous, they're 5 prints, they're on the AH for 30kg if you really want one. Most importantly they're niche and high coverage enough that even if someone hadn't paid me to draw an exclusive skin specifically for their dragon, they'd never do well as a public skin anyway.

Here are some tips for people looking into keeping their skins unlimited:

- You don't need to do it like I do.

Blueprints are expensive. Even I don't have my entire catalogue stocked, only the ones I noticed always have reprint requests. For example, only SAILOR'S WARNING out of 4 total colors for my impm skins is kept stocked because the others don't sell enough to justify it.

If you can't afford to stock them 10 at a time, have the customer provide the blueprints. Shelving your skins but having them be reprintable with a BP and a fee (350g is good for 850g print prices; remember, 500g of that went to you purchasing blueprints in the public run, so it doesn't make sense to charge customers a whole 850g when they're already providing the blueprint) is a good alternative to permanently retiring your skins. You don't get a ton of people who can afford that, but the option is there for people who want it.

- Notice which skins sell!

If you already have a good amount of skins in catalogue and have trouble figuring out which ones to begin stocking, you can start by checking in with your pinglist. Poll them and see which ones you'd want to rerun.

- Don't have so many recolors.

It's a law of the universe that they more recolors you have, the worse they sell collectively. I usually do 2, no more than 3. If you have to time limit your skins to get 6 recolors to hit print, then it's time to cut those recolors down.

There's reasons for this: it's choice paralysis, people may want 'complete sets' and will skip out if you're making that complete set cost 4kg total, and it just plain doesn't make sense for very similar color schemes to cover 4 different skins. Feel free to print personal recolors or have custom recolors open.

[defnotbee]

█▓▒░𝗖𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲!░▒▓█

← previous chapter next chapter →

After overthinking Belle's messages for the whole night, you came over to the 'Random Play' to return tape you rented. And also to do what you were asked to... or more like forced...

Upon entering you immidietly gained attention of two owners and the lovely bangboo behind the counter! But upon seeing you, Belle immidietly fleed without another word, leaving Wise just as confused as you.

Y/N▹"Well uh... I came to return the tape?"

W▹"Yeah of course. If you need anything more, let me know."

He said while taking the 'Oh~ Sweetie' videotape from you and putting it under counter for now as he bangboo was saving changes in the system.

Meanwhile you were standing there awkwardly and thinking how you should even ask a boy you know for barely few days out for a coffee! Which made him ask you what HE had in mind...

W▹"So... I know Belle got your number sneakily last night and... first of all I'm sorry for that. But secondly... did she said anything... I dunno.. weird?"

Y/N▹"Uh- No, not anything too weird I guess..."

W▹"If you say so..."

But you kept thinking about that one question of her... maybe this was actually the right opportunity to bring it and not make it weird?

Y/N▹"Actually she may've said some... interesting stuff?"

W▹"Oh?"

He hummed but said no more, not wanting to force you into saying anything you possibly may not want to reveal.

Y/N▹"She said something about you finding it awkward to ask me out so-"

W▹"Oh god- Please ignore that... I- I'm not awkward I swear.."

But you didn't hear him decline he wanted to ask you out... and that's what fueled your self confidence! So seeing as you could always leave this shop in a hurry... youdecided to just go for it.

Y/N▹"Did you perhaps want to go for a coffee?"

W▹"Well- Sure... But right now I'm a bit busy..."

B▹"I can take over the shop!! You two go!"

Suddenly Belle appeared from who knows where... but it seemed to shatter whatever Wise could use for an excuse... not that he wanted to avoid you, he was just... maybe he WAS awkward after all...

W▹"Alright then... Thanks Belle... Let's go. I know a shop nearby, maybe you even already know it."

He left the counter and came over to front door, opening it and waiting for you to go through first, and of course you did~

The walk to the cafe so nearby was a little bit awkward... not quiet, but the topics he chose were kind of basic conversation starters like 'what you think of the weather' and so. But.. he was trying! And that's what conts, no?

Eventually, when the two of you found a nice spot to sit at and ordered your coffee from the kind bot running it, his face turned more genuine.

W▹"Thank you for actually coming with me. I know we barely know each other..."

Y/N▹"Yeah but... I treat it as a way to get to know each other! Y'know?"

W▹"That's good~ Guess I really should start the 'get to know' conversation then!"

You could see his mood immidietly lightning up at your words and his confidence slightly rising.

W▹"What do you like, Y/N?"

This may seem like a basic starter but... he said it with such a charming smile and interest in his eyes that you didn't see it as that at all!!

Y/N▹"I like to write! Oh, and I also like video games~"

W▹"Heh~ Well... did I help you finish your project in the end?"

Y/N▹"Yeah, actually. I'm on my last chapter and will probably release the final project by the end of next month~"

W▹"That's good to hear. What's the title? I'll make sure to be on the lookout for it."

You were surprised to actually find someone with who the time felt like nothing. That with the blink of an eye it was suddenly dark outside.

He cared a lot about each of your words... maybe it was hard for him to make up a conversation at first, but he was definitely amazing listener~ So even when your time together was ending...

Y/N▹"Hey, Welt, why won't we repeat it one day, hm?"

W▹"With pleasure. When are you free?"

Y/N▹"Hm... how about in 3 days?"

W▹"Sounds perfect for me. I can show you to arcade, it's nice there, I swear."

You chuckled gently at his reassuring, even tho both of you knew you'll DEFINITELY enjoy playing at arcade! Especially with company like him~

Y/N▹"Of course! See you then?"

W▹"Yes... see you."

He waved back to you, as you got up from your seat to return home. Hopefully it wouldn't get too dark before you get there...

-' , ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @milkuu333 @hikari-michiko

I'M SO SORRY FOR IT BEING SO LATE!! I'm on break from school now tho so I promise next one will appear faster <33 + this is most likely gonna be the longest chapter in this series so yk...

[silverskye13]

how did you get the confidence to write fanfiction? i always worry that i won't portray the characters properly so any ideas or wants to write fanfics that i have go away or i talk myself out of it :(

Well! First and foremost: Most people don't start writing,,,, anything with confidence. Let alone fanfic, where you know other people are going to be looking at it, with their own ideas of how the characters are supposed to act and feel influencing what they're coming to the story with. My first fanfic I was very insecure, which I feel like was evident, reading through the author's notes now. Apologies whenever something that required a lot of suspension of disbelief happened, a poll so readers could decide the ending so I wouldn't disappoint anybody, only to end in me writing and posting three different endings. Long justifications for why I chose certain things in the author's notes. The fic nowadays reads to me like a very rough apology.

"Hi I'm sorry I tried. Be kind I'm very scared."

But the thing about writing that fic was, it was the writerly equivalent of jumping into the deep end of the pool for the first time. After I bobbed back to the surface and realized a shark hadn't like, taken my legs off while I was down there, jumping in again got easier. And kept getting easier. And now I just write and post things.

There's kind of two schools of thought that I've seen people subscribe to, when it comes to taking the first leap. The one that's really popular around here on Tumblr is: Do it scared. It is simple and straightforward. You are scared. You will be scared. You probably never won't be scared. So do it scared. Write your thing, close your eyes and hit send [either to post it or to share it with one or two friends, or even just hitting the "save" button and not deleting it]. Get scared, do it, close your eyes, finish. When you open your eyes again and nothing terrible has happened, you can breathe a sigh of relief and do it scared again. It's a little nerve-wracking at first, but the idea is giving your mind the association of jumping and not falling. I did it and I didn't fail, therefore it is safe to do it again.

The other school of thought [the one I specifically subscribe to] is: Do it once. What you think or feel about it doesn't matter. What matters is you did it once. Maybe it will be hell, or it'll suck terribly. Maybe you're really excited! And it turns out great! Maybe its a wild ride of ups and downs, and by the end you need a few months to catch your breath and decide if it was worth it. Regardless: you did it once. Now you know, if you want to, you can do it again. Now you can decide if its worth doing again. For me, the euphoria of finishing a project always far outweighs the trouble getting there, so the step forward of "Do it once" is powerful for me. And that can be broken down too. "Write one chapter." "Draw one drawing." "Clean one room in the house." There is no pressure to continue if its really that terrible, but you at least get to decide if one was worth it [and a solid 9 times out of 10, one was worth it enough to do it more.]

Now, all that said, if what you're worried about is writing the characters right and nothing else -- don't worry too much. Most people care less about how true to life the characters are, and care a lot more about consistency in the story. An example from RnS: In canon, Helsknight is a cartoonish villain with one motivation, and that motivation is taking over hermitcraft Doofenschmirtz style. To date, no one has come into my inbox demanding I change him, because he's so OOC he's basically an OC at this point. What people have come into my inbox about though, is "Hey, you established X in this chapter, but he said Y in this chapter. Was there a reason for that?" which is them saying, "Why didn't you keep your character consistent?" If you tell your audience what the expectations are for the story and you stick with them, they will stop caring about OOC moments and characterizations, and will trust you're going somewhere with your writing. Suspension of disbelief, your powerful friend! They put the world on their shoulders and carry and everybody watches and claps.

If you're also worried about consistency, then start out with one shots! There's a lot less room for error, no large, sweeping character arcs to keep track of. And stringing a bunch of one-shots together can give you practice with character consistency and progression without committing to something massive and overarching. If you're truly worried about making the characters exactly like Canon [or the Canon in your head], I recommend making little lists of character traits, or important things you want to keep in mind. At that point you're scared of your own consistency, and you just need a framework to keep yourself consistent enough for yourself, if that makes sense?

Hopefully! This helps! Sorry I'm a little scattered today :'D

[rbarrysncream]

Ey yo, not to get cheesy on my blog, but in the spirit of the Baftas, I wanted to genuinely thank a few of the blogs I follow here for keeping me wrapped in the GO and DT fandom, and subsequently, having my art improve a TON because of it.

(this is gonna be a long one, so strap in, or scroll if you don't wanna read my ramblings, lol)

Tw: mentions of depression, art block, and unmotivation

For a bit of background, up until October of 2024, I was in a nearly seven month long (honestly, probably more like 1 year) stretch of unending art block. I was feeling really bad about my art style, and I started doubting my future as an artist. I was barely putting any effort into any of my college projects, and I stayed up late crying and panicking because I just didn't enjoy making art anymore, and I was afraid I'd end up with a job I hated because I don't have any other skills. The only source of comfort I had at the time was David Tennant media. I was teased a lot about my special interest by my family (it was all good natured, don't worry), but I was the only one that I knew personally who liked David as much as I did. Which brings us to the first person I wanna mention: @davidtennantgenderenvy

I can't pinpoint when or how I discovered their Youtube channel, but when I did, I honestly felt more seen than I ever had about my insane special interest with this actor. And she was a musical theater nerd who maladaptive daydreamed all his characters to different musical songs??!? It was genuinely like finding my twin, and made me feel just a bit more normal about my love for David's projects. I then clicked on her Tumblr link and began looking around the website (without an account, mind you, I was just browsing), but when I did, I eventually stumbled across the art blog @hg-aneh, and fell in love with his style and how he drew Aziraphale and Crowley.

His art was so cute and simple and it just made me sadder that I was stuck in this never ending artist's block. However, one day, I was looking at one of his works (I can't remember which one it was, im sorry), and I was like, "You know what? Just to humor myself, I'll make a quick sketch in his style. Cuz its cute! And it won't be too detailed. So I did. Sure, I quickly erased the sketch, but that was the first time in MONTHS that I had made my own art outside of school work. It must have kicked something off, because I started sketching on my iPad again, slowly but surely making more and more little pieces. Which again, isn't much, but it was such a huge step for me. Yeah, I started focusing more time on my personal art than my school work, and my grades suffered because of it, but I was SO happy that I was finding some joy in making art again.

I finally got Tumblr around the middle of October, thanks to some persuading by davidtennantgenderenvy when I told them I wanted to show them some Macbeth fan art I made, but I didn't have any social media. I asked them if Tumblr would be worth getting, and they assured me it was, so I made an account and almost immediately started getting likes. It honestly made me want to cry because I always thought my art was boring and uninteresting. It doesn't help that around this time, I was barely getting any feedback from my peers during class critiques, so I just assumed my art wasn't anything anyone wanted to look at. But then the first Macbeth piece I posted on here got so many notes, that I was like "eh, I'll post my Good Omens fan art too. What could go wrong?" Nothing went wrong, and I continued getting notes on the pieces that I posted, and I was almost confused by it? I can't really explain it but I was like "wait, so is my art good, or are these people just taking pity on me?" (I have a huge complex about pity, but we don't need to get into that LOL)

Anyways, I started making art primarily just to post on Tumblr, but I guess the practice was beginning to pay off, because when I would barely get any feedback on my classwork pieces, people in class started speaking up a bit about my work. Giving compliments and critiques, which helped so much. Wanted to cry when it happened again lol.

Can't really write out a good segue between these two points, but another person I wanted to thank was @depraveddame . If you don't know who she is, she is an insanely talented writer who, I think I discovered back when I was just browsing Tumblr without an account. I started reading her ao3 story Vine Slips of a Strange God, which is a human AU Good Omens fanfic, for those who have not read her work yet. First off, I am NOT a reader. Like, you could not pay me to read a book in my spare time, so idk what drew me to this fanfic (it was probably the mention of 'hurt/comfort' in the tags, ngl.) But I ATE THAT SHIT UP OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD. It took me a bit to click with the story, but when I DID?!?! It genuinely took over my life in the best way. There was also BEAUTIFUL art in the chapters, made by the very talented @zivilzz .The way they colored and shaded their pieces made me want to practice on my coloring and shading, and it has improved so much because of it. I ended up reading all of her works in the span of like, a week or two. I also made a small sketch of her gardener Crowley around the time I started slowly getting back into making my own art. I ended up loving Vine Slips so much, that I'm currently planning on making a comic of one of my favorite scenes in the story. Also, while depraveddame is an amazing writer, she also informed me a TON about the BDSM community. (btw, if you don't support the bdsm community, and you think its morally wrong, or that it should be illegal, unfollow me rn.) But anyways, I used to be a bit judgy about the idea of bdsm. I knew of it, and I never thought it should be illegal, but I would just ask myself "why? why would you do that to another person, or why would you just let that happen to you?" Luckily, I don't think that way anymore, and it is very much thanks to her insane writing.

Also one more person I want to thank, that doesn't really have anything to do with my art improvement was @aq2003 for prayer circling for me to be able to watch Macbeth at my nearest cinema *cough* 50 minutes away during a snow storm *cough*. Genuinely, thank you, dude, that recording changed my life

OOH!! and also, thank you, @davidtennan-t for chubby Fourteen 🥹

Damn, this was a long post, sorry y'all, but basically, the point of this post is, while I have many things to thank for my latest improvement of art, I really dont think it would have been able to happen as quickly as it did without these blogs, so thank you guys so much, you'll never know how much it meant to me.

yes, I cried while typing this, shhhhhhhh

[calchexxis]

Hey, I don't recommend fics very often, but this is a STRONG recommend.

Now, let me preface this by saying read the tags because this fic confronts a lot of really sensitive topics like self-harm. It is definitely not for everyone, but by that same token I think it's something that anyone who reads it can get something real out of it.

Next, you don't need to have watched the second Inside Out movie to be able to enjoy this fic. If you have, awesome, but if not, it's not that big of a deal. Go look up a picture of Valentina Ortiz & Riley Andersen, and you'll get the gist. You should probably have watched the first movie, though, but then, I think everyone should watch Inside Out at least once in their life.

Anyway, short synopsis, this takes place 5 years after the end of the second movie, Valentina 'Val' Ortiz has gone pro with hockey but an injury benched her for a few months, and she's spending her off time in Minnesota, hoping to reconnect with her high school crush, Riley. They meet, but it's almost immediately clear that Riley has not been doing well since they parted ways. Regardless, they do reconnect and finally start dating the way both of them had wanted to when they were younger. Still, throughout the story, there is a constant dread that follows Riley around, suggesting without saying aloud that something is very wrong.

I cannot praise the characterization of this story enough. Val is this over-achieving perfectionist who tries her best to be perfect for Riley. Riley, on the other hand, constantly feels as though she's undeserving of that effort and love. I don't know if I've ever seen a more perfect depiction of deep depression than here, with Riley.

Important note, it does have a happy ending, but I won't spoil anything for you. Please read this, because it's a powerful story and it deserves to be read.

[project-sekai-facts]

VBS event teaser commentary

Welcome back, it has been *checks calendar* 8 months since I was last able to do one of these jeez. Anyway, this will be a bit different to the ones I've done in the past, since rather than trying to predict what the event will be about, we already know. This is more of me trying to guess what will be in this event and what will be in VBS' next arc.

(TL by Project SEKAI ENG on twt)

(TLs from here onward by lozy bug on YT)

This event will have VBS finally surpassing RAD WEEKEND!!! This has been their primary goal since the start of the story, however more recently it has become more of a stepping stone for them in order to go beyond it. BREAK DOWN THE WALL has a lot of talk about how RW is a step for VBS before they go and do their own thing. It also is the obstacle blocking their SEKAI from expanding fully, in the form of a wall (hence the event title), which is also referenced in the event synopsis. The wall has started to crack with them honing their skills and resolve, but won't fully crumble until VBS can go beyond Nagi's dream.

Now all the way back to LUTF. Specifically the Nagi flashback section. So Nagi's dream was always for RADder to go on and reach a worldwide stage. They were popular in Japan and doing tours, and they had plans to do stuff overseas, but Nagi fell ill and died before any of this could become a reality. Nagi is like, the most important person in VBS' story. Ultimately she's the one who started it all. She decided to hold RW which inspired a whole generation of young people, passing the torch and hoping that they would go beyond what she achieved and do the things she always dreamed of. Without Nagi, there would be no VBS and no Street SEKAI.

So VBS' current goal is to go beyond what Nagi did, which entails VBS reaching around the world. However, the first step right now is to surpass RW. Now for what a lot of people have been asking me all day: is this rushed. Well, we won't really know until the event is out. But, imo, not really? It's been pretty obvious we're leading up to it, and while I thought we would have a few more events, this placement makes some sense (also WLEs are clearly leading up to a soon-ish big lore event so we need to get those sekai expanding lol).

I think some aspects could get rushed though or will happen offscreen. Again. Which was kinda an issue with On Your Feet, their last arc ender (though this was no fault of the writers i'm pretty sure they were not intending to wrap everything up at that point in time but plans were changed kinda last minute... you can tell bc events got insanely long for a bit and some units clearly needed more or less time than they were given). Mainly what comes to mind and what i've seen people talking about is Toya's song writing, and Arata's Whole Thing (& Souma!).

Toya's song writing is undoubtedly going to happen offscreen or in a card story. If it happens in the event itself, it probably will just be something that happens in passing and not given any focus, since this isn't his event. As for Arata (and Souma)? I think Arata will probably come back in this event, just because it feels very wrong to surpass RW without him. How they're going to bring him back? No idea, it was set up in BDTW and vaguely in Toya4 that he would come back in a future Toya event but this now feels like something that won't happen. However I still think the emotional baggage (aka his feelings about Souma and what Taiga said to him) will be dealt with in more detail in a future event, probably Toya5. Also then you can deal with Souma's stuff too, like the song he wrote for Arata that has been a thing since woao. Seriously, this is Toya event stuff, the only way they can get it in here is if they pull an Our Happy Ending and give Toya a dedicated chapter and try and squeeze it all in there. At the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if Arata stays MIA or is limited to a small appearance. It would be a bit disappointing, but there's a lot for the Squad past RW, so he can be there for event that surpasses the event that surpassed RW ig.

So what's next? I seriously suggest reading the epilogue of BDTW, it's only 6 minutes long and talks a lot about VBS' goals from here on out.

Their new SEKAI area takes inspiration from many places worldwide and their cultures and music, and the graffiti is all the names of famous street music events. They conclude that it's a place for teams that take the world. There's also an interesting scene earlier in the event that Miku reflects on here - Nagi's ghost (possibly her actual ghost, possibly a physical incarnation of An's imagination) was walking around the SEKAI, and she was looking at this one specific blank spot on one of the walls. Obviously, that spot was meant for RADder, but they never got to carve their name. VBS' new goal is to do exactly that. Maybe we'll see some travelling from that (where on earth they'd get the money i don't know), or maybe we'll deal with everyone's feelings and unresolved plot points first and Then get on the worldwide stage stuff (probably in the same arc. two if they decide to continue this past 6th anni).

[chattercap]

Monthly Update: May 2025

Hello everyone, happy May!

It's a bit of a long one this time, so I'll get right into it.

What did I do this month?

I started off the month absolutely raring to finish refactoring my code to add much needed QOL features, including rollback and controller support, so that it would finally all be ready for my planned releases in the summer. However, after wrestling with the code for around a week, I ran into a frame rate issue that I simply could not fix, even in a completely empty project.

After tearing my hair out for around 6 hours working on it, I made a 4AM decision (which is apparently when I make all of my semi-significant game dev decisions): I would try out a new game engine.

If any of you have played my games since Karamu, you know that I originally worked in Unity. This was for a variety of reasons, but mainly I was a novice dev and I wanted a flexible engine that would allow me to target mobile devices. After the Unity pricing debacle a couple of years ago, I swapped to Godot because it was open-source and would allow me to reuse my C# code that I wrote for Unity. It was also the only open-source engine that supported the 2D animations that I used. However, of course, after the 2D animations weren't supported on Android for the longest time and proved to be controversial (some people did note that they were the only things they didn't like about my games, haha!), I decided to drop them - and there was really no reason for me to stick with Godot, other than sunk-cost fallacy.

Most of you probably enjoy OELVNs, and if so you're probably familiar with Ren'py. It's a game engine designed specifically for making visual novels, which is why it's so popular in the indie VN space, and it comes with most of the features that you would like when playing or making a VN. This included a lot of features that I wanted to implement myself in Godot, including rollback and controller support. Ren'py also runs rather well on a wide variety of platforms, both when making and playing games - which was ultimately the reason that I decided to try it for a few weeks.

Without getting into the nitty gritty, I spent the latter half of the month working in Ren'py, and I found it to be wonderfully easy, convenient to use, and logically organized. I pretty quickly implemented the GUI for My Husband is a Stranger and Project R, and also implemented the basic script, voice acting, and game selection for the Karamu trilogy.

You can check out some of the screenshots sprinkled in between the wall of text here (it's all looking very spiffy, if I do say so myself! A big thank you to my talented GUI artists, Kathaeris and Elduator!)

Since everything is going rather well, I've decided to shift all of my future projects to Ren'py for the time being. This includes My Husband is a Stranger, Project R, the Karamu trilogy, the MindMindMind Android port (I hope to make a Web build of this one as well since the assets are pretty lean?), and the full version of The Deepwater Witch (+ other various unannounced projects).

Here is a (not definitive) list of features that I will be removing/changing because of the change in engine:

-The speech bubbles will not dynamically resize to fit the size of the text. This isn't impossible to implement, but it's a little more work than it's worth. Instead, speech bubbles will remain a static size for several lines until I manually change them. I don't think this in particular should bother anyone, but this will lead to a few other changes as well.

-Because the speech bubbles aren't dynamically sized based on the size of the text, I will be removing the ability to choose the font size. I will, of course, make the default font size relatively large and readable (I want everyone to be able to experience my games without getting headaches, after all!) It just doesn't make sense to accommodate smaller text sizes that won't fit well in the speech bubbles.

-I will also be limiting the amount of chooseable fonts. Beforehand I basically added as many fonts as I thought was reasonable (6 with MindMindMind… I basically just kept adding fonts as I made more games…) since more options = better, but because I'll be manually sizing the text bubbles from now on, I'll need to check that the sizes work for each font. To make this doable, I'll probably be limiting the font options to 4: a serif font, a sans-serif font, Open Dyslexic, and Atkinson Hyperlegible. If you have any requests for accessibility fonts, please let me know and I'll try to accommodate those as well!

-I'll be removing the dark and light reading options. It's not impossible to implement in Ren'py, but it's a little more difficult. Instead, I plan to use a more varied amount of speech bubble designs and layouts that are designed to fit the overall presentation of the games better.

Here are features that will be added in my Ren'py games:

-All of Ren'py's built-in QOL features 🙏. If you're a visual novel enjoyer, these will probably be familiar to you, but they include: rollback, quick save/load, optional self-voicing, full controller and keyboard navigation, etc.

-Better performance and platform support (I hope). From what I've heard, Ren'py games are a bit faster and easier to run than either Unity or Godot games, on a wider variety of operating systems. My Godot games also didn't run on MacOS Monterey at all for some reason, which shouldn't be a problem in Ren'py (unless I am somehow cursed by the Apple gods). As I mentioned before, I plan on adding Android builds for my future games, and with Ren'py I will also look into adding Web builds (if I can - a lot of my games will be a little too heavy for it, most likely!)

For anyone who just wants to play my games, the tl;dr of all this nonsense is: I'll be making games faster, they should run better, and I'll be trading some QOL features for much more helpful and better QOL features. For anyone who plays a lot of OELVNs, essentially you should expect my games to run like and have the same features as most of the other games you play 😂

What will I be doing this month?

Since this month is Otome Jam, I really want to release something for it! The last Karamu part needs to cook a little bit longer because I'm waiting on some assets, but I plan on releasing the demo for My Husband is a Stranger, likely sometime next month. For that, I'll be working on the final CGs and coding in the script. If I have time, I'll also work on putting together the CGs for the demo of Project R and tinkering away on the Karamu trilogy and the MMM port.

Thank you to everyone who's following along, and see you next month!

Chattercap

[scarabsinthestardust]

Better in the Morning // Ch. 1

MASTERLIST

Jake x original female character

When I originally started writing this, it was going to be a short story that was never going to see the light of day. But eleven chapters later, someone talked me into posting it. There probably won't be much of a posting "schedule," and this is a very rough draft, so go easy on me. 😅 (Also, I'm not married to the title so that may be subject to change later on down the road.)

word count: 3500+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Language, very vague mentions of sex, mentions of death of a parent, mentions of not having a great relationship with the other, and Jake being a cocky bastard

“Okay, so tomorrow I’ll need you to grab the parts for the amp and pick up the Gretsch.”

“Sounds good, boss man.” I stood leaning against the counter while Richie scribbled down some notes.

He’d been lucky enough to score this nice little space in Nashville to start up a new guitar shop. Another local shop had recently shut down, so it was a great opportunity. It took a few months to prepare everything, but we finally opened a few days ago, and everything was running smoothly. My favorite part was getting to help repair and refurbish antique guitars that had been through the ringer. Hence the Gretsch. That was going to be our first project at the new place.

I’d been flitting around, helping customers, straightening shelves, and whatever else needed doing. The bell at the front door dinged, indicating someone had entered. I glanced up to see Richie greeting the man, who nodded at him and walked over to the wall of electric guitars. He looked like a musician. He carried himself like a cocky, broody, rockstar who couldn’t even be bothered to take his sunglasses off inside. His shirt wasn’t even buttoned all the way up. I rolled my eyes before going back to my work.

I was moving one of the acoustic guitars over to a small area we had set up with a couple of wooden stools, so it would be available if someone wanted to test it out. I strummed a chord or two to make sure it was in tune and gently placed it on the stand.

“You play?”

I turned to face the owner of the voice, not surprised at all to see Mr. Broody. “I dabble. And you? Looking for anything in particular?”

“Well, I was just browsing. Checking out the new digs, you know?” He took the silly round frame sunglasses off, allowing me to get a better look at his face. “But I ended up finding something I do want.” He gave a cocky half smile, and I saw his eyes check me out from head to toe.

Oh, we’re going to play that game. He wasn’t bad looking by any means. His dark shoulder length hair hung loose, framing his features. The navy-blue button up he wore looked really good on him, undone at the top to show off a few silver chains that hung around his neck. His chocolate brown eyes looked mischievous, in a way that just screamed trouble. My favorite. I’d play along, have a little fun with him.

“Is that so? And what makes you think you can handle me?” I cocked my head and crossed my arms, smiling playfully at him.

“What makes you think I can’t?” He took a step closer to me.

“You’re being awfully cocky for someone who doesn’t even know my name yet.”

Another step. “Would you even tell me if I asked?”

“I don’t know that you’ve earned it yet.”

He took another step. I could smell his cologne, something woodsy with a hint of sweet rum. “How about a fair trade?”

“Oh, and what did you have in mind?”

The last step brought him so close we were practically touching. At least he was gentleman enough to keep his hands to himself. The banter was clearly good-natured and flirtatious. I didn’t feel threatened or creeped out, and to be honest, he was piquing my interest. “You tell me your name; I’ll take you out. Coffee or lunch, your call.”

I noticed Richie starting to walk over, giving me a concerned look. I smiled and waved him off, letting him know I was doing just fine. The handsome, albeit slightly annoying man was watching me, patiently awaiting a response. I reached out to touch the silver coin pendant he wore, inspecting it. “Recovered from the shipwreck of Nuestra Señora de Atocha.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m impressed.”

I dropped the coin, letting it fall back against his chest. “Alright, mystery man. I’ll take you up on coffee. Friday. Gives you a few days to really think about what you’re getting yourself into, in case you change your mind.”

“Not a chance. But you have to hold up your end of the bargain.”

I raised my chin defiantly and looked straight into his eyes before responding. “Kya. And you already know where to find me, so I’ll see you on Friday. Better make it worth my while.”

“Oh, I intend to, Kya.” He said my name like he was savoring it, turning it over on his tongue as if it were a wine tasting. I wonder if he knows how to put that tongue to good use.

“Do I get to know your name, or is that a secret?”

He smiled and winked before stepping away, creating some distance between us and the obvious sexual tension that was starting to develop. “Jake.”

“Jake. I’ll see you soon, then. If you don’t chicken out, anyways.”

He scoffed a laugh, shaking his head before turning to leave. I called his name, making him turn to look at me one more time. “Don’t disappoint me.”

“I would never.” He shot me another one of those cocky smiles before putting his sunglasses back on and leaving the store. It was hard not to notice the dirty look Richie had plastered on his face as Jake made his departure.

“Now what did he ever do to you?” I laughed, walking back to Richie, and leaning my elbows on the counter.

Richie shook his head. “I don’t trust rockstars. You gotta be careful around guys like that, kid.”

“You think he’s an actual rockstar?” I snorted, brushing off his comment.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “I don’t think. Hang on.” He walked over to a shelf of vinyl records, took a moment to find what he was looking for, and brought it back to the counter. ‘Greta Van Fleet.’ Anthem of the Peaceful Army. He pulled out the insert and pointed to the spot in the corner with the list of the band members and what they played. Right there, clear as day, was ‘Jacob Kiszka – lead guitar.’ It wasn’t lost on me that the lead vocalist and bassist also shared the same last name.

“You’re kidding.” I pulled my phone out, opened Instagram, and typed in the band name, scrolling through the photos. I clicked on a few group pictures, just to confirm what I was seeing. Yep, definitely him.

“Well shit, I guess I’ve got a coffee date with Jacob fucking Kiszka.”

~

I think I had recognized the name ‘Greta Van Fleet’ and maybe had heard a few songs here and there, but I couldn’t name any. I knew next to nothing about them or their music. But as far as Jake was concerned, we had our little game we were playing, and I wasn’t interested in letting him win it just yet. By the time Friday rolled around, I vowed to be prepared for whatever he would throw my way.

I started with their first release; a double EP titled From the Fires. I pressed play and kept it going for my drive across town. I found myself really enjoying it. The singer had an exceptionally interesting voice, and the guitar riffs were so smooth and pure. Jake, you might actually know a thing or two about playing guitar.

I picked up the parts Richie needed for the amp repair and plugged in the address for my next errand. After listening to From the Fires in its entirety, I switched to their first full length album, Anthem of the Peaceful Army, catching myself tapping fingers on the steering wheel in tune to the beat.

I had not met the man I was picking up the Gretsch from, but Richie assured me he was a good guy and an easy customer. I knocked on the door to the house and was greeted by an elderly man. “Hi, I’m Kya. Richie sent me to pick up a guitar?”

“Oh, yes, of course! Come in, come in. I’m Gary.” He moved slowly a little hunched over as he led me into the living room and pointed to a worn-out guitar case on the floor. “Hope you’ll forgive me, sweetheart, it ain’t easy for me to lift that anymore.”

“Not a problem at all. May I?” He gave me the go-ahead and I squatted down to examine the case. It was well worn and damaged on the edges, but it was still functionable. It had a thick layer of dust over the surface, only disturbed by recent finger marks, presumably from it being moved to the living room. I popped the locks and opened it, revealing the absolute treasure inside. This guitar had definitely been through the ringer. The green paint on the body was faded and chipped, and the wood was cracked in a few spots. Pretty much all the hardware would need to be replaced, but it had decent bones. It would be a lot of work, but it would be well worth it, and I was excited for the project.

“Can’t help but feel guilty for letting it fall into disrepair like that.” I turned to meet the man’s sad eyes. I bet he had his fair share of stories to tell.

I smiled sweetly at him, trying to ease whatever sadness he was feeling. “I’ve seen much worse. And I’m confident we can get her looking and playing just like new.” I shut the case and lifted it by the handle, sending him another reassuring glance. “I’ll take care of her, I promise.”

“I know you will. Thank you, ma’am, and tell Richie I said thank you as well.”

“Will do.” He walked me back to the front door and I shook his hand before leaving, loading the case carefully into my back seat. I waved to the sweet old man watching me from his porch and hit the road, still jamming to Anthem of the Peaceful Army.

~

By the time Friday rolled around, I’d made sure to familiarize myself with the rest of the discography and did some social media investigating. I learned Jake’s twin brother, Josh, was the one with those wicked pipes, their brother Sam played bass and absolutely beautiful keyboards, and Daniel was the drum guru.

Sure, I was excited to continue our silly back and forth but did not want to let myself be disappointed if he didn’t show. Richie never missed an opportunity to remind me that it was a bad idea, to which I would roll my eyes and politely ask him to mind his own business. “I’m grown, and more than capable of taking care of myself,” I would remind him right back.

It was around 11 AM, the store had only been open for an hour and a half. The little bell above the door rang and in walked Mr. Broody Rockstar himself. He still wore his shirt only half buttoned, except today it was white. He wore the same round frame sunglasses, but he took them off when he entered, scanning the store, presumably for me. When his eyes found mine, I smirked at him but didn’t move. I’d make him come to me. He approached me, looking quite smug.

“You showed. I’m impressed. I thought you might disappoint.”

“And miss the chance to gaze upon the beautiful woman in front of me?” He sucked his teeth. “Never.”

How ostentatious. “Well, if I remember correctly, you owe me a coffee date. Are you going to hold up your end of the bargain?”

“I always do.”

“Then lead the way, Mr. Kiszka.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond to my use of his last name. I grabbed my jacket and purse, and as we walked past the front counter, he put his hand on my lower back. I didn’t mind. But then he leaned in and, not so quietly, said, “Maybe afterwards I can show you something much more enticing than coffee.”

The implication was clear, and I was not averse to the idea of seeing what he had to offer. However, he made his bold little statement within earshot of Richie, who promptly stepped out from behind the counter and blocked our path to the door. “Watch it, lover boy,” he all but growled.

I shot Richie the hardest glare I could muster. “Settle down, guard dog,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll be back later.” The look I gave him relayed the message clearly: ‘Move, and don’t fucking embarrass me.’

He stepped back out of the way but didn’t bother to hide the dirty look he shot Jake, who didn’t seem to falter once. I made a mental note to tear Richie a new one later and we exited the shop.

Jake let out a breath that I didn’t know he had been holding. “Some guard dog you’ve got there.”

I grinned sheepishly. “Sorry about him. He’s a little protective, is all.”

“I can tell. You’d think he was your dad or something.”

Laughing, I hooked my arm with his as we walked. “Richie practically raised me. And he’s harmless compared to my actual father, who you’ll consider yourself lucky to never meet.”

“Oh, we have daddy issues, huh?”

He was trying to push my buttons on purpose, but I found it sort of endearing, in an annoying kind of way, and one that probably made me a little bit of a masochist. “You know, Jacob, your flirting methods are very questionable.”

“At least you recognize the flirting. Besides, you haven’t had any problems dishing it right back, sweetheart.”

“I never do.”

“Spitfire.” His laugh is cute.

He led me to one of the local coffee shops. We ordered our drinks and found an empty table next to the window. Jake looked so proud of himself, like he had won some elusive prize by getting me to have coffee with him. It gave me a chance to really look at him through the sunlight that was beaming through the window. He was very attractive, and I was a sucker for how the sun reflected in his eyes. His smile was doing something for me, too.

“So, Kya, are you from Nashville?” He sipped his coffee but didn’t take his eyes off me.

“No, I’ve only been here for about eight months. I was born in Texas but mostly raised in West Virginia. And you, you’re from… Michigan?”

“Did your research, huh?”

“I like to be prepared.” I smirked at him.

“You know,” he leaned back and rested his arm on the back of the empty chair next to him. “I find it really unfair that you know so much about me and I know next to nothing about you.”

“You better start playing catch up, then.”

He took that as a challenge he had no intention of backing down from. He shot off some rapid-fire questions, mostly small talk like what kind of music I liked, hobbies, if I had any pets (I did not). I’d ask some of the same questions, little things that I didn’t know or just hadn’t read about yet. I knew about his brothers, his bandmates, but he shared he also had a younger sister back in Frankenmuth.

I answered everything he asked me honestly. After all, I didn’t have anything to hide, not really. But when he asked me about siblings, I decided I didn’t particularly want to discuss my brother. So, I told him I had none, which was only a partial lie. Luca died when we were kids, and I did not feel like ruining the mood with that story.

He leaned forward again, resting his forearms on the table. His sleeves were halfway rolled up, giving me a view of a singular, linear scar on his left forearm. “Middle school. I broke it wrestling.” He looked pensive for a moment, like he was considering what to say next. “Thought I wouldn’t be able to play guitar again, but it actually helped. After it healed, it was easier to reach a fret further than I could before.”

I always found stories like that interesting. I could play some basic chords and riffs, but I wouldn’t consider myself good at it by any means. It wasn’t an easy instrument to learn how to play, and certainly wasn’t easy to play as well as he did, so I admired his dedication and talent. “Well, thank God for broken bones. Seems less dramatic than selling your soul to the devil at a crossroads, anyways.”

He chucked, showing he did, in fact, get the Robert Johnson reference. “Yeah, I think you’d be correct. Might hurt less, though.” He was funny, I’ll give him that, and he was starting to grow on me a little.

“So, tell me more about this ‘rabid guard dog’ and ‘daddy issues’ situation. I’d like to know what I’m getting myself into.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Richie means well. It’s just that sometimes he still sees me as the scared little girl that got dropped off on his doorstep in the middle of the night, which I guess leads into the second part. My dad is… a complicated person whose life can be a literal dumpster fire. I haven’t seen him in a few years, but I’ll get a phone call occasionally, checking in.”

Jake thought about it for a second, cautiously moving to the next question. “Can I ask, is your mom in the picture?”

“No. She died when I was a baby.” Before he could get out an overdone condolence, I shook my head. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago and I didn’t know her.” It wasn’t just an empty reassurance. You can’t miss someone you didn’t even know. Most of what I knew about my mom came from Richie and other family friends, but even those bits of information were few and far between. My dad never wanted to talk about her, surely because it hurt him to do so. Probably the same reason he refused to talk about Luca.

I shifted the conversation to something lighter, asking him about touring and the process of creating albums. I could see him light up as he talked about it; this was his happy place.

I hadn’t been paying much attention to the time, but when I checked my phone, it was almost one in the afternoon, and I had six unread text messages from Richie. I cringed. “I should probably get back to the shop and at least pretend I work there.”

“He probably thinks I kidnapped you.”

“Nah, he can track the microchip implanted in my neck.” We both snickered at the joke as we stood to leave. We linked arms again and he offered to walk me back to the store. He decided not to come back inside, not wanting to push his luck with my personal security guard.

“Have I earned the privilege of obtaining your phone number, milady?” The faux English accent made me giggle, although it didn’t keep me from thinking he was a huge dork.

I held my hand out, gesturing for him to hand me his phone. I inputted my name and number before handing it back to him. He then grabbed my hand, making a theatrical bow before kissing the back of my hand, ever so delicately. “It’s been a pleasure. Until next time.”

I said goodbye and walked into the store, the bell indicating my presence. Richie glanced at me before returning his attention to the customer he was helping. I got started on some busy work until he rang up the man’s purchases and was free again.

“How was your date?” His arms were crossed, and he had a disapproving look on his face.

I beamed at him. “It was lovely, thank you for asking. And before you ask, yes, he was a perfect gentleman. And yes, I will be seeing him again.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your dad ain’t gonna be happy when he finds out you’re dating a musician.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing he isn’t here,” I spit, not bothering to hide the bitterness in my voice. “He is the last person who gets to have a say in who I date.”

Richie could be overbearing at times, but he knew when to back off. He and my dad had been friends since they were young. When my dad got into some trouble, he dropped me and Luca off with Richie and disappeared for three years. I was seven. Luca was nine. When he showed back up in our lives, I didn’t want to forgive him. He abandoned us, and I could never shake the hurt that came with that. He would continue to make empty promises that he would stay, that he would make it up to us, that he would be present. He never kept those promises.

As I got older, the hurt turned into anger, which morphed into numbness, and then eventually became apathy. I stopped caring so much about what he thought about my life or what was going on in his a long time ago.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I couldn’t help but smile at the message.

Unknown number – 1:47 PM

Thanks for giving me a chance, spitfire.

Dinner soon?

[acehazbin1]

Scars 💦 (Transmasc reader x Caine)

Summary: The transmasc reader (fully transitioned) has been in the digital world for a month now and has recently opened up about the scars they have from the surgeries. Caine had a crush on the reader for quite some time now and after hearing about the surgeries worships them because of it but won't admit his crush on the reader. The reader is told by Jax and the others about Caine obvious crush on him so the reader figures if Caine isn’t going to do anything about it, they will. Caine is a switch and so is the male reader.

…………………………………….

Everyone knows Caine has favourites; well, he doesn't really, just his favorites. From day one, Caine took a liking to y/n; he was quiet and got along well with the others; the viewers seemed to like him; and he didn't ask many questions. From a legal standpoint, you could say that is why he was the canine's favourite; otherwise, you have to mention the constant staring Caine seems to catch himself doing; y/n body was like a light while Caine was just a fly. Even since you talked to the others about his surgery scars, Caine has become even more intrigued by him.

Caine would often let slip a few compliments about them, from their personalities to the clothes they wore that day. Often, the clothes were very figure-hugging. The rest of the circus knew what was going on, but none of them said anything to Caine, instead leaning towards Y/N, who didn't notice it at first and always took the compliments as gestures of friendship. After mentioning his scars to everyone, he started to notice the compliments becoming more frequent. y/n always had a tiny crush on Caine from the minute he joined the Digital Circus and showed him around. y/n mind would always replay the moments when they locked eyes and Caine grabbed his hands to show him around. y/n could have sworn he felt sparks, but then again, it could just be his mind.

Today, Y/N was sitting down at the table for dinner, just staring at the food on his plate. He looked around and noticed Caine wasn't there, probably busy, but then again, he might as well mention it to the others to see if they know anything. “So does anyone know where Caine is?” Ragatha, "Sorry, hun, no idea." Jax smirked. “Looking for your boyfriend?” Y/N stabbed his fork into the piece of chicken that he was eating. "M-my what?” Jax still slouched and looked amused. Ragatha hit him in the side with her elbow and said, “Don't mind him." Jax laughed, “You heard me, you boyfriend; come on, we all see the way he looks at you.” Y/N firmly denies it, “I don't know what you're talking about." Jax sits up and looks at the others. “Come on guys, we all know it.” Ragatha looked down, Gangle fidgeted with her fork, Zobble nodded, Pomni gulped, and Kinger was off in his world. "Theirs is your answer, pretty boy,”

“You can't be serious,” Y/n tried to laugh it off but looked at Jax's expression, “You can't." Seeing his face being dead straight and nodding made Y/n question everything. “You can..” Y/N didn't touch dinner anymore; instead, in his mind, he wondered about everything. Everyone finished their dinner and started to head back to their rooms for the night. Y/N walked around the circus grounds, trying to figure out what to do with the situation. He always knew in the back of his mind that Caine liked him but never truly processed it. If what Jaxs and the rest of the gang say is true, then why hasn't Caine ever asked Y/N out?

Maybe he was too nervous, just maybe. Maybe you needed to take this into your own hands. A plan started to hatch in your mind; it was good, if not brilliant. All he needed was Caine in his room, and he could take it from there. How could he get him into his room? Well, Caine was the ringmaster after all, so something just had to go wrong in his room, a digital ‘gitch’ so to speak. Y/N smirked and got to work.

Caine was busy managing the server; the codes were an easy fix because he was an AI. An AI with a fatal flaw, lust for that will be his downfall. After all, y/n just needs to call “Caine, Caine!” and he's right outside his door. “Yes, my dear?” Caine knocks on Y/N's door, awaiting a response. “Come in there something I need help with,” Caine hesitates to open the door, for he wasn't allowed into human rooms. After a little bit of back and forth against his programming, Caine opened the door to see Y/N sitting on his bed in a not properly tied robe, exposing a bit of his chest with scars visible. His legs were just apart enough to see a glimpse of his inner thigh but nothing more. Caine felt a knot in his throat and a bit of a knot in his pants, but he successfully got it down. "Eh, you called?” Caine shuttered, and Y/N nodded, smiling, seeing the effect he had on Caine. “Yes, in my closet there seems to be a glitch, or else I wouldn't be dressed like this,” Y/N chuckled, trying to bring Caine's focus onto the robe. Caine couldn't hold eye contact for long, instead trying to look everywhere but Y/N. “The closet—what seems to be the glitch?"

“I think you better see for yourself,” Y/N said in a sultry tone, making Caine gulp and stroll towards his closet. Y/N tried to mentally prepare themselves for what they were going to do next, but Y/N shut the door, causing Caine to look up from opening the closet door. He was kneeling on the floor, ready to search for some glitches. “Keep working; I just don't want the cold air to get in." He mused, causing Caine to think that there was no air in the digital circus; it was digital. He kept working, trying to find the gitch, while Y/N kept inching over to him, nearly beside him, as he said. “My dear, I'm trying to find the gitch, but it seems there is none,” Y/N smirked. "Oh, keep looking. I originally found it and thought nothing of it before Jax mentioned it to me when he was in my room, so now it's been in my head ever since I tried to get rid of it myself, but that failed. Now I'm starting to wonder if it's real or just a digital hallucination." Y/N went on now, knowing what he was saying wasn't about the glitch at all, but Caine stopped fully listening after Jax mentioned what he was doing in Y/N's room. "Well, my dear, you were never the one for digital hallucinations; I just tried to find this glitch. When was Jax in your room anyway?" Caine tried to speak calmly; y/n could just tell him that he had keys to everyone's room, but he decided to have more fun than that.

“Jealous much, Caine?” He teased, making Caine’s face go red. He tried to turn around and say something, but Y/N stopped him by pushing him against his closet. "Oh, please, I see the way you look at me—how you only complement my tight clothes. I know what you want, Caine; all you have to do is accept."Caine felt frozen in time; he was flustered by the position he was in and the way his body was nearly on top of his. Y/n robe was open a bit more now, exposing more scars. All Caine wanted to do was worship those scars. Y/n was brave and strong. In that movement, Caine nodded. “Good boy, now I don't want to break your back against my closet, so if you could get on top of the bed, you’ll be doing me a favour.” Her hand was against Caine's teeth, and her thumb slipped into Caine’s mouth. Caine, following his request, moved to the bed, still having her hand against his mouth and leading him backwards onto the bed. Y/N got on top of him, his legs on both sides, making his robe move up his thighs as he sat on Caine’s crotch.

Y/N moved around on his crotch, feeling him hard under his hand. Caine closed his eyes with a groan, and Y/N leaned down to kiss him, still grinding on him. The kiss was hunger and passion, starting off slow. Y/N teased Caine’s bow-tie, undoing it slowly, pulling off his jacket, then working his hands down to Caine’s buttons. He stopped at the last buttons to undo Caine’s pants. He got off his lap and moved down so his face would face the zip and pull it down slowly with his teeth. Caine blushed and messed around with her shoulder, trying to loosen the robe around her waist to tie. Y/N pulled down his pants to expose his member; he smirked and palmed it in his hand. “Ugh, y/n, please,” Caine begged. “Don’t be so impatient, Caine." Caine felt his hot breath against his member and groaned.

Y/N kitty licked Caine’s member before deepthroating it. The sudden change made Caine grab onto Y/N's hair, pushing him down more. Caine wanted to worship y/n, to degrade them but to praise them at the same time. He liked y/n being the top, but just as he started to feel a knot grow in his stomach, he pulled y/n up by his hair and flipped him over. Before y/n had time to react, he was already pulling off his robe. All the scars along his chest were beautiful, and y/n covered them with their hands, which Caine moved. “Don’t hide them; their beautiful, your beautiful." Y/N nodded and let Caine explore his body. Caine started up at their neck, slowly going down, leaving a trail of kisses. Y/N robe was still on them, barley, but Caine still took notice: “You’ll strip me, but keep yourself covered up, oh please." Caine's hand travelled to his hips while the other one caressed his chest, kissing along the scars.

Caine's hand reached around your member, rubbing it slowly, making you whimper. "God, your such a pretty little man-whore,” Y/N blushed and bit his lip to hide the not-so-family friendly noises coming out of his mouth. Caine continued to stoke your member while moving back up your neck and nibbling at your ear. “Turn around, darling,” Caine whispered in a sultry tone. Y/N's eyes widened, and Caine let go of Y/N's member. Y/n turned around, arching his back, ready for Caine. Caine moved himself to y/n ass. With a click, Caine got some lube and rubbed it all over y/n’s ass and his member. He slowly put on one finger, “Damn y/n, your tight; I might have to loosen you up a lot." Y/N blushed and moaned a bit, causing Caine to add another finger.

"You're just dying for this, aren't you?” Caine mused, adding yet another finger, causing Y/N to moan in response, “Tut tut tut, I need words, dear." Caine pulled out all his fingers and aligned his member with his core. “Yes, I’m just dying for..." Caine thrust his member inside of him and wrapped a hand around his member. Caine thrust slowly, letting y/n get used to him. y/n whimpered and moans as Caine strokes and thrusts aligned together. “Fuck, you feel even better than I imagined." Caine leaned over Y/N's arched back and wrapped his spare hand around his neck for faster thrusts. Both Caine and Y/N felt a knot grow in their stomachs. Caine groaned, and Y/N whimpered and moaned.

Y/N was a moaning mess as he felt the knot in his stomach finally let go. He cummed all over Caine’s hand. “Good boy." Caine moved his hand, licked all the cum off his hand, and put his two hands on his shoulders, letting go of his neck and making him gasp for air. Caine thrust into y/n faster and groaned while y/n looked like he was about to collapse from being in the position. Caine thrust became sloppy as he came in. He pulled out and fell to his side. Y/N collapsed into bed, snuggling up beside Caine. Caine traced his hands along your scars while you slowly fell asleep in his arms. Caine looked at them half asleep and whispered in his ear,

“Want a round two?”